Salsa

I stopped collecting comics the first time I moved overseas. Once I was back in Melbourne for a long period I began again but limited myself exclusievely to American superhero fare - a far cry from where I'd left off prior to emigrating. Now with cheap comics available easily via Kinokuniya I'm collecting again. While there are the occasional superhero purchases the following makes up the bulk of what I have purchased recently. If you are a non comics reader then I can't recommend the above selection highly enough. Guess I'm heading back to a more emotion-driven indie (ish) landscape.

Went to the gym this morning and found myself confronted by Salsa (the dancing woman from the gym that I think I have mentioned in the past). She must have been bored because in addition to auctioning off her friend as a blind date (to which I declined to her annoyance) she also offered to help me with my househunting and consequently took my number and declined to give me her name because it "didn't matter". Salsa is an enigma. The middle-aged woman that dances around the gym and occasionally does a set on a machine. She's an attractive woman that offers that sense of mystery I've found so lacking in women recently. Don't mistake that on my part for interest in a romantic sense because it's not. I am OFF the market. But I am curious as hell as to who this woman is. Why does she dance alone in a public place? How can she be at the gym almost every day? Doesn't she have a job? If not, why not? And no, I don't think she's a housewife - they tend not to chat to strange Ang Mohs in the gym. So the mystery deepens. Just have to steer clear of her offers of blind dates!

Having been away for work on the back of a break-up you tend to think about what went wrong. What happened? Did I choose the wrong person? Did I break up for the wrong reasons? Etc etc. And you also do the cast-back. Comparing them to previous girlfriends and wondering whether there's a pattern to this tidal wave of breakups. It's always a bit annoying when you look back and think "Damn, I shouldn't have let that one slip away". I guess in such situations, the best you can hope for is that that person is healthy, happy and being taken care of, whether that's by another guy or just by friends and family. As mentioned, have decided to take myself completely and utterly off the market (not that I am some kind of "catch" with above average market value). Given that I'll be studying I think this is for the best. A friend gave me advice recently that was given to him by another - don't make your shopping list too long. I think there's some wisdom in this. If your shopping list is too long from the outset then you may have total blinkers on to the one thing that may be what you want in brand packaging that you never considered.

P.S. Is it just me that's weirded out by seeing a poster at the cinema today for the Sex and the City movie. The series is banned here!!!

Take 2

Looking at the previous post I can say these things with certainty :
- Getting in front of the keyboard drunk is never ever a good thing.
- Witty titles for posts are wonderful but they need to have some kind of connection to the content of the post.
- I am so much more judgmental these days than I was as a teen. This saddens me.
- I'm really not sure what the last line of that post means.

Re-Erection

I spent the last two weeks in Bangkok doing an orientation course for a distance course that will now consume the next 9 months of my life. The upside is that I passed everything when the statistical majority failed. I'd rather say little about it other than it was tough and it's very understandable why some candidates fail.

Having come out the other side of orientation, I do feel somewhat different. Sure there was the course itself, but ultimately I didn't find it anywhere near as stressful as everyone I work with said I would find it. Granted I just scraped through it, but ultimately I handed in rubbish for one assessment and still made it through - so it's all good. I'll tell them i found it horrifically tough because that's what I'm supposed to say and it's less arrogant to go down that path.

I've also seen things about myself. I thought I was the non-judgemental type. I thought I was the guy that saw every side of things. But I'm not. Seeing all the 65yo white guys with 21yo girlfriends really brought out the worst in me. Honestly there could be so many many reasons as to why a 65yo could be happy with a 21yo girl but I could see none of that. I only saw the manipulative nature of the relationship (from both sides) of the arrangement. How could either side be fulfilled?

But honestly I've dated so many older women that I should be the last person to say a word. I think the larger portion of my annoyance came from seeing the way many of these men treated women. They are just meat to most of these guys. Money doesn't equate to respect. And I think that's a lesson both sides of the equation need to learn. This is a common one in Asia. But Thailand brings out the worst in me in regards to this debate. Ultimately I think men treat women like shit in SE Asia. But then that's my judgement. And doesn't account for the people that truly fall in love. The people I truly used to think were some kind of majority. They're not a majority. But nor, perhaps, should I regard them as a minority. Maybe I'm just starting to become cynical.

I've hurt enough people. Not deliberately. But sometimes these things just happen. Despite our best intentions, someone isn't right for you. And in your heart of hearts you know that to be true. It doesn't matter. Someone is going to get hurt in such a situation. Because that's the heart and when two people whose hearts meet? Well, that's the true Hollywood romance. Because the reality is that that is what we all want. What so few of us get. It does happen. So me? Well I'm just going to stop hoping. It does work sometimes. Most of the time I can't hear that hope, but in my heart it's there. A drumbeat is loud enough no matter how low it is that it will keep us going.

Old Man Sox

Prior to leaving for Singapore I began dating a girl back in Melbourne. She was really sweet and had the job offer come a couple of months later I may well have stayed in Melbourne. As it turned out I got the job offer after we'd been dating for about 6 weeks. So I took the job. I still see her on MSN sometimes and we update one another about what's been happening and the like.

She works close to my parents home so she sees my younger brother around town. As I chatted to her this afternoon something came up about ages and she suggested that she thinks my younger brother is around 30. Which makes me...? Egad! Meesa getting older boom boom, Obi!!

So she was a fair way off with ages but that's ok. Does make me wonder though about what impression I give off? To look at me, people always assume I'm fairly young but are surprised to hear my age once they start speaking to me. Of course age is irrelevant. God knows the average age of my exes is about 7 years my senior.

I've also decided to swear off Singaporean girls. No offence to them at all but their are some cultural differences that are... how do I say it... mountainous. As someone who has lived and dated in several countries now this is a very new situation for me. I've always been the type to choose carefully and love the differences. Here I find that the expectations about relationships are fairly different. My most recent break up centred around her thinking that four dates a week was not enough. Frankly, that was as much time as I could spare so here I am back on the blog writing about dating. I did meet very briefly a cute Australian girl on the staircase of a bar the other night. I'm not really up for dating someone immediately and she was with a group of friends so I let that one slip through to the keeper.

Weird Weekend :

Had an epic night on Friday night which resulted in the arrest of one of my friends (after I'd left so I still don't know the full story). Another friend announced to me that he's dating someone new which is fantastic. Weirdly though, I know the girl and she was just texting me last week to clarify where her and I stood (which wasn't anywhere - I think everyone else wanted her and I to date because it was 'cute' for them). Think I may just keep that little nugget to myself. Then there was the club I went to where I was sitting with friends and a girl and her friend (boyfriend?) came and sat at the next table. While he danced she flirted with me and gave her phone number right in front of him. Very very weird night all told.

Back to the Gym

For the first time in 2008 I visited the gym. Of course I can detail how busy my life has been over the last few months or how the thought of going to the gym at night with the sweaty crowds makes me nauseous but the fact is I've been lazy and unmotivated. Seeing as how I'm not there to lose weight or to train for the next bodybuilding championship its often hard to find a reason to get up out of bed in the morning.

But oh, what I'd been missing! The nice thing about going to the gym mid-morning is that you always see the same people. The woman in her late-40's who dances around the gym listening to her iPod inbetween sets is a favourite. This is a woman whose face is set in a permanent grimace. Yes, she's actually scary. But the moment she saw me her face just lit up completely and she waved frantically as though I was a long-lost friend rather than the guy who pretends not to look at women inbetween sets. It's honestly one of the most bizarre and lovely things seeing this women actually dancing around the gym. It's the last thing I would expect to see in the gym, or anywhere else for that matter, but she's so into it that I can't help but love her honesty of expression.

The rest of this afternoon was spent fielding phone calls from agents as I begin the Great Property Hunt of 2008. Like many major cities the world over, Singapore is experiencing a real estate boom utterly out of proportion to the rise in most people's wages. That said, I set April as my move-out month and will hopefully have a nice little place to myself by the end of the fourth month. Am going to get a cat-friendly apartment just in case I bow down to my ever-growing desire to co-habit with a new kitty. I love living by myself but having a cat there would take the edge off the days where you sit thinking Geez, here I am by myself eating for one again. I've grown up with cats (and dogs) all my life so whenever I'm living overseas it's a hard slog to be without a pet. Seeing as how this appears to be my most 'grown-up' experience as an expat I figure I an have a cat and then take it with me when I leave.

Most ridiculous thread of the week

Somehow I look at amazing amounts of message boards for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they are related to hobbies, often to research on consumer products or computing problems and so on. What comes from this is a constant reminder of how amazing (and sometimes very stupid) human beings can be. So periodically I will post threads that have shocked me by virtue of their stupidity, insanity or sheer endlessness.

Today's thread comes from research I was doing for some friends that are relocating to Singapore soon.
Only expats in Singapore could possibly have grocery bills that total $2500/month for a couple and one toddler. My favourite part is when the OP describes some of the things she buys, such as $15 cartons of milk which are used within a day! Amazing.

Advance Australia Fair

As someone who waited many years for Little John to leave office it's stunning to see that he still can't keep his white-bred conservative right mouth shut. As a Prime Minister who sent his country to war against the will of the people it's just vomit-inducing to watch him still banging the same old drum which promotes hate and division in a country that is built (for my generation) on the foundations of multiculturalism and tolerance. I shouldn't even blog about him but I thought he would fade into utter obscurity and here we are less than 6 months later and he's still spewing his particular brand of generation 1880 wickedness.

The issue of generation is not worth total dismissal. Howard maintained power for 12 years for two reason : 1) He appealed to the older generation who generally vote in far higher numbers than their younger counterparts and 2) He kept the economy at an all-time high. While credit for the economic state of Australia cannot be placed elsewhere, one only needs to look at economic history to see that the country, and the world for that matter, were about due an economic recession. Given that he threw his lot behind a country headed for the economic grave it's no surprise that the new government has had to employ tactics such as raised interest rates to keep things in balance. Had his own regime maintained power the result would have been the same, so taking potshots at the new governments handling of the economy is an easy target aimed at people who have no knowledge or education regarding economics.

Grrrr... yes, he makes me damn angry.

Way to blow the games

One can only imagine how furious the Chinese government are about this particular hostage situation just a few months shy of the Olympic games, where presumably many of the visitors to the games would be planning to see the Terracotta Warriors as part of their trip.

Spastically brilliant!

As I sat in Lido today, a taco in my left hand and the right marking some of last week's tests I received a phone call with news that I could never ever have anticipated. One of my best friends, who works as a 3D graphic artist on computer games, has taken a job here in Singapore working on a top-level CGI project. I'd reveal the name but I figure he'd prefer I kept it to myself. Suffice it to say it's a project that will be known far and wide on the expanse that is the Net much later this year or next year.

But how F-ing brilliant! I've always said that the suckiest thing about living overseas for me is not being able to take my friends with me and now one is coming! I'm still spun out by the news. Bizarrely, he is coming in April when I have time off and was planning to find new accommodation, so it's possible we may end up living together. If not, then I'm a little more inclined to live somewhere a bit closer to the East Coast which is close to his work. Have to see what happens!

This is certainly just the bright news I've needed during a sucky month.

Wha? Huh? Can?

Have had a confusing and weird start to the weekend. Apparently I've been a 'beastly' boyfriend over the past few weeks. What this translates to in girlspeak is that I haven't been available enough. It makes me wonder how much a boyfriend and girlfriend should be seeing one another. Or more specifically, how little should they be seeing one another before the boyfriend becomes 'beastly'?

We have been seeing one another on average three times a week. Usually Saturday night and Sunday, and then two dinners on weeknights. Given that besides the Saturday night, she is unable to stay overnight with me and we both work full-time, in a demanding profession no less, I can only wonder how much I would have to be seeing her to raise my status from 'beastly' to 'boyfriend'.

I'm the first to admit that the start to this new year has been incredibly busy for me workwise and more than a little stressful. But when we only share one coinciding day off and don't live together I fail to see what else I could be doing. What makes all this worse for me is that while work will settle somewhat after this month, I begin doing a distance study course that is reputedly time consuming to the Nth degree.

I have a baaaaaaaaaaad feeling about this...