"Let Jakey do it!"

In the past year and a half I've spent more time around babies and toddlers than I have in my life. Despite a basketball team's worth of siblings, none of us have yet added to the family name (or anyone else's for that matter!). While in Singapore, I have had frequent occasion to hang out with my friend's son at barbeques and football nights and the like. His son, Billy, seems to love me and frankly I respond well to kids and they to me. Must be a similar mental plane thing, I guess. Billy is a cute kid whose Mum stays at home much of the time to look after him and was aided by a maid when Mum was at work. He's two and a half years old and I can rarely understand a word he says.

Last night I went to my ex-girlfriend's house. We haven't seen each other obviously for over a year and a half and her boy Jake is now a real human being, far from the infantile poo machine I saw when I left. My ex and her husband both work full-time and Jake is sent to childcare during the day. I've always had a bit of a thing about childcare. I think it's a really wonderful thing, especially in a world where increasingly the average family is required to have two incomes just to make ends meet. However, on a personal level, and given my own vocational field, the idea of leaving my kid in the care of someone I don't know and may not be properly qualified kind of gives me the creeps. Many years ago I used to occasionally go out to the pub with my younger brother and we'd meet girls that he knew or who were friends of his friends. If I had a dollar for every 19-20 year old girl I met in that bar who was a childcare worker with no recognisable qualifications I'd have... well... at least enough for a round of drinks for the boys. Additionally these girls were hardly paragons of responsibility when you enquired about their job and what they did each day and how seriously they actually took it.

...breath...

So little Jake goes to daycare now. We went and picked him up, drove back to her place and ordered a pizza. Jake and I re-bonded over the Incredibles and he was even calling me Daddy after I cut up pizza for him and fed it to him. My ex was highly amused by this and impressed that Jake took such a quick shine to me; not always the easiest of feats with a two and a half year old. Me? Well the whole Daddy thing creeped me out a little in a sense of "oh.. what might have been..." but I had such a lovely time. I think the best thing was seeing how much my ex loved her role as a mother; a role she deeply feared all through the pregnancy. Ultimately, I saw that she was happy and that in turn made me happy. My ex is family to me and you always want what's best for family.

... double breath...

The point of all this was the sheer difference between Jake and Billy. Exactly the same age. One in daycare. One at home with Mum. I realise kids learn and develop at significantly different rates but I couldn't help but wonder. Jake's vocbulary was better. He listened to his Mum (and me!) more than Billy. He interacted in a more social way than Billy is able to. I realise this is all highly circumstantial and an unfair comparison given learning rates etc. But as I said, I can't help but wonder whether childcare is actually better for a child's development than being at home with Mum (sans brothers and sisters in both cases).

Scary/Amazong moment :
As my ex went to put on the Incredibles DVD, Jake shouted "Let Jakey do it!". My ex gave him the dvd, and he opened the wooden cabinet with the "child-proof" lock on it, then proceeded to press the eject button, insert the dvd and set it all playing for himself.
That boy will be surfing the Net and responding to this blog before either of us knows it methinks.