So after much deliberation, phone calls and looking at dirty, poorly kept apartments I have managed to find something. Have signed the lease and will move in gradually over the next week, if I ever find the time between work and my assignments. This is one of those times where it sucks not having a car as I'll have to make several trips in taxis to get my stuff there. I'm paying more than I wanted to but am happier and happier the more I think about the apartment. There's heaps of space so I'll be able to really settle in and get some work done now.
Am starting back at work tomorrow, which is usually something people dread after 3 weeks off. Me? I can't wait. Admittedly I've been in at work several times over the past week or so, including being there all of yesterday afternoon. My new schedule is exciting and my days off work much better for me. Previously my days off were Sunday/Monday but now I have a "normal" weekend which is great for however long that lasts.
Out for drinks a few nights back, I ended up meeting and drinking with a group of regional tobacco salesmen. Talking, talking, talking and then the most senior of them asked me what I did for a living. When I told him I got this pained look that said "Oh my God, you're the scum of the Earth and how can you afford to drink in this expensive bar". I have to love the irony of being looked down upon by someone that sells tobacco in Asia. This guy was the stereotypical rich, white expatriate. Flush with funds, always eager to take a hooker home and an automatic authority on every possible subject known to man whilst being exceptionally close-minded when it comes to any kind of alternative opinion. I do know quite a few lovely expats (outside of my co-workers who are generally very nice) but many of the others are just know-it-all alcoholics with a penchant for SE Asian pussy. Excuse my French.
My friend's wife arrived yesterday so I am theoretically trying to finish up all my work so we can go for a couple of drinks later this afternoon. Obviously, my sitting here typing isn't even subtle procrastination. More like very direct avoidance.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
It's a Small World Afterall
When I first arrived here I was told that Singapore is a very small place. Coming from a city with a similar population, I understood it but didn't read too much into it. Over a few drinks in Holland Village yesterday my friends and I bumped into a girl from our work. She was with a group of her friends at another bar. As they were leaving our co-worker came over and said hi. I introduced myself to her friends and one of them turns around and remarks that she knew me. I looked her up and down, racking my brain, thinking "oh God, please let this not be an embarrassing thing". But no. She said I was sitting next to her in a restaurant a few days prior and I said to the person I was with how good her food smelled. And indeed, I had said exactly that at a Taiwanese restaurant a few days earlier. Granted I didn't recognise her in the slightest but it was a strange coincidence nonetheless.
Will boycotting Carrefour and KFC send any kind of proper message to anyone other than CEOs and shareholders of the above corporations? Having spoken about this very issue yesterday, this article provoked a bit further thought on my part. Nationalism is a powerful force particularly when a country feels that they have been slighted by another country/countries. In this century alone we've seen the Americans react strongly on a national level to (unequivocally) a tragedy. Now we're seeing it again with China. Though this is not quite on the same scale as the first example, the end result is much the same - people are incredibly upset, people are making wild assertions based on zero evidence and diplomacy between the countries involved is icy.
It's a complex issue because as Westerners we believe our media is a far more reliable source than one directly controlled by the government in a country where everything from blogs to YouTube is censored. So we have a situation where one party feels that they know the truth (and I happen to be a member of that camp) and another party who have total faith in their government and have been raised on an edited historical record since birth. Therefore, to them, that history stands as truth. As Westerners we question our media, often obsessively and this is where blogs have actually become an integral and powerful part of the media dialogue in our countries. Obviously, that's a dangerous thing when you are trying to control the media outright. Just makes you wonder how widespread this all is. It was only recently that a Singaporean politician warned of the possible advent of rampant anti-Western sentiment in China because of these torch protests.
Having lived in Shanghai for a period, is it just me who thinks it's odd that a country which has very little in the way of wheelchair access and facilities for the disabled is currently hailing a disabled athlete as a national hero?
And yes, obviously I think it's a disgrace that protesters would attack someone that is disabled.
Will boycotting Carrefour and KFC send any kind of proper message to anyone other than CEOs and shareholders of the above corporations? Having spoken about this very issue yesterday, this article provoked a bit further thought on my part. Nationalism is a powerful force particularly when a country feels that they have been slighted by another country/countries. In this century alone we've seen the Americans react strongly on a national level to (unequivocally) a tragedy. Now we're seeing it again with China. Though this is not quite on the same scale as the first example, the end result is much the same - people are incredibly upset, people are making wild assertions based on zero evidence and diplomacy between the countries involved is icy.
It's a complex issue because as Westerners we believe our media is a far more reliable source than one directly controlled by the government in a country where everything from blogs to YouTube is censored. So we have a situation where one party feels that they know the truth (and I happen to be a member of that camp) and another party who have total faith in their government and have been raised on an edited historical record since birth. Therefore, to them, that history stands as truth. As Westerners we question our media, often obsessively and this is where blogs have actually become an integral and powerful part of the media dialogue in our countries. Obviously, that's a dangerous thing when you are trying to control the media outright. Just makes you wonder how widespread this all is. It was only recently that a Singaporean politician warned of the possible advent of rampant anti-Western sentiment in China because of these torch protests.
Having lived in Shanghai for a period, is it just me who thinks it's odd that a country which has very little in the way of wheelchair access and facilities for the disabled is currently hailing a disabled athlete as a national hero?
And yes, obviously I think it's a disgrace that protesters would attack someone that is disabled.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Dagnabbit!
I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but I realise I have become an old man. I'm making Grandpa Simpson look reasonable.
Exhibit A :
I listen to talkback podcasts both from Australia and on the BBC. Talkback!!!! I do listen to it often to hear the crazies. But where is this leading? Do I move from amused bystander (by-listener?) to actually making calls myself? The worst part is that I've actually been tempted to call in. Sigh... this is a bad sign.
Exhibit B :
This should be prefaced by saying that for some reasons Singaporeans think it's ok to talk noisily through a movie. Seemingly the other patrons think this is ok too because noone ever says anything. I went to see a film by myself yesterday (I do that a lot here because I often have time free during the day). It was a thriller and was hinged upon dialogue between the characters with some random acts of torture thrown in. So a group of teenagers came in and began their noisy conversation. I gave the usual glares etc, which may have been ineffective given how dark it was in the cinema. This went on for some time and eventually the pulsating vein in my head popped. I stood up, went the two rows behind me and told the kids "If you guys don't shut the fuck up I'll take you outside and make this movie look like a picnic." Needless to say, they were very very quiet for the rest of the film.
Now I'm not a bulky guy. I'm sure they would have been the ones making the movie look like a picnic. However I think what caused me to get up was the horrendous hangover that had been plaguing me since I arrived home at 6am that morning. I felt really awful about saying this to a bunch of teenagers (even though I would never follow through on such a threat in a million years) but also quite empowered. I just can't understand why anyone would spend money to go and see a film and then talk all the way through it.
But yes, apparently I'm now engaging in old man grumpiness.
Exhibit A :
I listen to talkback podcasts both from Australia and on the BBC. Talkback!!!! I do listen to it often to hear the crazies. But where is this leading? Do I move from amused bystander (by-listener?) to actually making calls myself? The worst part is that I've actually been tempted to call in. Sigh... this is a bad sign.
Exhibit B :
This should be prefaced by saying that for some reasons Singaporeans think it's ok to talk noisily through a movie. Seemingly the other patrons think this is ok too because noone ever says anything. I went to see a film by myself yesterday (I do that a lot here because I often have time free during the day). It was a thriller and was hinged upon dialogue between the characters with some random acts of torture thrown in. So a group of teenagers came in and began their noisy conversation. I gave the usual glares etc, which may have been ineffective given how dark it was in the cinema. This went on for some time and eventually the pulsating vein in my head popped. I stood up, went the two rows behind me and told the kids "If you guys don't shut the fuck up I'll take you outside and make this movie look like a picnic." Needless to say, they were very very quiet for the rest of the film.
Now I'm not a bulky guy. I'm sure they would have been the ones making the movie look like a picnic. However I think what caused me to get up was the horrendous hangover that had been plaguing me since I arrived home at 6am that morning. I felt really awful about saying this to a bunch of teenagers (even though I would never follow through on such a threat in a million years) but also quite empowered. I just can't understand why anyone would spend money to go and see a film and then talk all the way through it.
But yes, apparently I'm now engaging in old man grumpiness.
Monday, April 14, 2008
That crazy place called 'Gym'
As I'm trying to be good, and my current holidays allow it, I'm back at the gym once more. I saw Salsa today at the gym. As usual she danced around and did her dream-like thing. At one point she danced up to me as I took a breather between sets and high-fived me. Oh God, I'm being high-fived in the gym. I'm so not that guy. Nor am I the guy that drinks protein shakes, which really smell quite foul I might add. They have this unnatural smell that lies someone between medicine and obsession. I sometimes think I am the only guy that goes to that gym that is not drinking protein shakes or steroid juice.
In case it appears that I'm some kind of gym junkie - Im not. Far from it. I mostly go to the gym to work off hangovers and guilt over my relentless lifestyle and often have a cigarette as soon as I get out. Yeah, real healthy.
Salsa actually called me last Saturday afternoon under the pretense of finding out some more info about what kind of apartment I was looking for. Conversation meandered and she's charged me with the task of finding a nice white guy in his 50s. Yes, I'm Sox the Matchmaker now. I told her that I didn't know many men in their 50s and certainly none that I would introduce to a lonely divorcee. Most of the men I know in their 50s here are right prats who would have trouble providing the usual stability of a relationship outside of cashflow. I did ask Salsa about her dancing, which she is happy to talk about at length. At one point she said that "the music is in me" and that she often cooks with the gas on low so she can dance at the same time. Yes, this verges on weirdness but it's also kind of intriguing in the sense that I genuinely believe the universe does actually sing to her and she has little choice but to follow the tune.
In case it appears that I'm some kind of gym junkie - Im not. Far from it. I mostly go to the gym to work off hangovers and guilt over my relentless lifestyle and often have a cigarette as soon as I get out. Yeah, real healthy.
Salsa actually called me last Saturday afternoon under the pretense of finding out some more info about what kind of apartment I was looking for. Conversation meandered and she's charged me with the task of finding a nice white guy in his 50s. Yes, I'm Sox the Matchmaker now. I told her that I didn't know many men in their 50s and certainly none that I would introduce to a lonely divorcee. Most of the men I know in their 50s here are right prats who would have trouble providing the usual stability of a relationship outside of cashflow. I did ask Salsa about her dancing, which she is happy to talk about at length. At one point she said that "the music is in me" and that she often cooks with the gas on low so she can dance at the same time. Yes, this verges on weirdness but it's also kind of intriguing in the sense that I genuinely believe the universe does actually sing to her and she has little choice but to follow the tune.
House-hunting
The Great Property Hunt of 2008 is going somewhat disastrously. Despite having numerous agents searching for me, none are able to come up with anything. Many of them just blatantly don't call back after saying they will. Admittedly I do have two guys out there hunting who seem to genuinely want to help me which is lovely. That said, I'm beginning to feel that I may in fact have to resort to that most dreaded of options - sharehousing.
Now I have been in sharehouses in Wakayama, Shizuoka and Melbourne. The Melbourne experience was the only positive one and that was largely due to me living with a good (and very chilled out) friend. The two Japan experiences have ranged from average to horrendous. There was one guy I lived with that was a devout Christian and quite possibly the most boring individual I'd ever met. The one nice thing about being an ex-pat is that you get to have opinions and people want to listen. The result of this is that you also listen to other people's opinions, disagree boisterously and then laugh and buy one another a beer. Even though people disagree there's still a mutual respect for where someone is coming from and what their life experience has entailed. Of course I have my rose-coloured glasses firmly in place and am ignoring all the gigantic assholes who are unable to accept any opinion that is not their own. By and large though the life of an ex-pat is a fascinating one because you interact daily with people from all over the world. This particular housemate though was something else. Utterly unable to accept any other kind of lifestyle or opinion our relationship was handicapped from the start because I got *that feeling*.
I may not be very bright and I may make some very poor decisions in my life, but the one thing I can, and have always been able to, rely on is my initial instincts when I meet people. They rarely fail me and when I met this housemate I just knew there was something "off" about him. I had to be taken from the room by a friend one night when he entered into a conversation about porn in Japan that I was having with some friends. He told us very seriously that porn was adultery. While I would definitely argue this point I also knew there was little point with a guy like him. And fair enough anyway, as a religious pundit he's entitled to that opinion - after all, it's not really one that hurts anyone. He then went on to expand his idea to include the very notion of thinking about another woman was adultery. Yes, you read right. By this logic one is committing adultery every time they see a hot girl on the street and their imagination kicks in for a few seconds before the mundaneness of everyday takes hold once more. My friend knew me quite well and could see the anger in my cheeks after he had said this so I was taken to the balcony to cool off and have a cigarette. Mission accomplished.
A postscript to all this is that directly after I left Japan, and I'm talking less than a week, he was found to have a Japanese girl stay over in his room. The girl was one of our students, no less! I have very strict ethical rules about dating students (I teach adults btw) and they basically amount to : UH UH, NO WAY, NOT EVER. Besides which it was actually a fireable offense with our employer at the time. To cap all of this off, he had a girlfriend in the States the entire time (I think they were engaged, iirc, despite her only being 19). So my instincts about that particular one were correct.
The point of all this? Wish me the biggest luck because housesharing is just so much pot luck and I never want to be in a situation again where the thought of going to my own home turns my stomach.
Now I have been in sharehouses in Wakayama, Shizuoka and Melbourne. The Melbourne experience was the only positive one and that was largely due to me living with a good (and very chilled out) friend. The two Japan experiences have ranged from average to horrendous. There was one guy I lived with that was a devout Christian and quite possibly the most boring individual I'd ever met. The one nice thing about being an ex-pat is that you get to have opinions and people want to listen. The result of this is that you also listen to other people's opinions, disagree boisterously and then laugh and buy one another a beer. Even though people disagree there's still a mutual respect for where someone is coming from and what their life experience has entailed. Of course I have my rose-coloured glasses firmly in place and am ignoring all the gigantic assholes who are unable to accept any opinion that is not their own. By and large though the life of an ex-pat is a fascinating one because you interact daily with people from all over the world. This particular housemate though was something else. Utterly unable to accept any other kind of lifestyle or opinion our relationship was handicapped from the start because I got *that feeling*.
I may not be very bright and I may make some very poor decisions in my life, but the one thing I can, and have always been able to, rely on is my initial instincts when I meet people. They rarely fail me and when I met this housemate I just knew there was something "off" about him. I had to be taken from the room by a friend one night when he entered into a conversation about porn in Japan that I was having with some friends. He told us very seriously that porn was adultery. While I would definitely argue this point I also knew there was little point with a guy like him. And fair enough anyway, as a religious pundit he's entitled to that opinion - after all, it's not really one that hurts anyone. He then went on to expand his idea to include the very notion of thinking about another woman was adultery. Yes, you read right. By this logic one is committing adultery every time they see a hot girl on the street and their imagination kicks in for a few seconds before the mundaneness of everyday takes hold once more. My friend knew me quite well and could see the anger in my cheeks after he had said this so I was taken to the balcony to cool off and have a cigarette. Mission accomplished.
A postscript to all this is that directly after I left Japan, and I'm talking less than a week, he was found to have a Japanese girl stay over in his room. The girl was one of our students, no less! I have very strict ethical rules about dating students (I teach adults btw) and they basically amount to : UH UH, NO WAY, NOT EVER. Besides which it was actually a fireable offense with our employer at the time. To cap all of this off, he had a girlfriend in the States the entire time (I think they were engaged, iirc, despite her only being 19). So my instincts about that particular one were correct.
The point of all this? Wish me the biggest luck because housesharing is just so much pot luck and I never want to be in a situation again where the thought of going to my own home turns my stomach.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Underbelly
Australian television should be good but unfortunately rarely is. I have begun watching Underbelly though and it's fantastic. Watching the first episode was a bit weird when you actually know one of the main players in the series. Seeing an actor playing that person is odd and a tad scary to say the least. No, I don't know that player well at all - schoolyard connections from way too many years ago.
That said, it was a bit scary to look at the front page of The Age the other day and see this article. Wouldn't it be weird to see this guy walking down Orchard Road someday this week!
Oh yes, and one of my best friends arrives on the weekend - yay!
Salsa
I stopped collecting comics the first time I moved overseas. Once I was back in Melbourne for a long period I began again but limited myself exclusievely to American superhero fare - a far cry from where I'd left off prior to emigrating. Now with cheap comics available easily via Kinokuniya I'm collecting again. While there are the occasional superhero purchases the following makes up the bulk of what I have purchased recently. If you are a non comics reader then I can't recommend the above selection highly enough. Guess I'm heading back to a more emotion-driven indie (ish) landscape.
Went to the gym this morning and found myself confronted by Salsa (the dancing woman from the gym that I think I have mentioned in the past). She must have been bored because in addition to auctioning off her friend as a blind date (to which I declined to her annoyance) she also offered to help me with my househunting and consequently took my number and declined to give me her name because it "didn't matter". Salsa is an enigma. The middle-aged woman that dances around the gym and occasionally does a set on a machine. She's an attractive woman that offers that sense of mystery I've found so lacking in women recently. Don't mistake that on my part for interest in a romantic sense because it's not. I am OFF the market. But I am curious as hell as to who this woman is. Why does she dance alone in a public place? How can she be at the gym almost every day? Doesn't she have a job? If not, why not? And no, I don't think she's a housewife - they tend not to chat to strange Ang Mohs in the gym. So the mystery deepens. Just have to steer clear of her offers of blind dates!
Having been away for work on the back of a break-up you tend to think about what went wrong. What happened? Did I choose the wrong person? Did I break up for the wrong reasons? Etc etc. And you also do the cast-back. Comparing them to previous girlfriends and wondering whether there's a pattern to this tidal wave of breakups. It's always a bit annoying when you look back and think "Damn, I shouldn't have let that one slip away". I guess in such situations, the best you can hope for is that that person is healthy, happy and being taken care of, whether that's by another guy or just by friends and family. As mentioned, have decided to take myself completely and utterly off the market (not that I am some kind of "catch" with above average market value). Given that I'll be studying I think this is for the best. A friend gave me advice recently that was given to him by another - don't make your shopping list too long. I think there's some wisdom in this. If your shopping list is too long from the outset then you may have total blinkers on to the one thing that may be what you want in brand packaging that you never considered.
P.S. Is it just me that's weirded out by seeing a poster at the cinema today for the Sex and the City movie. The series is banned here!!!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Take 2
Looking at the previous post I can say these things with certainty :
- Getting in front of the keyboard drunk is never ever a good thing.
- Witty titles for posts are wonderful but they need to have some kind of connection to the content of the post.
- I am so much more judgmental these days than I was as a teen. This saddens me.
- I'm really not sure what the last line of that post means.
- Getting in front of the keyboard drunk is never ever a good thing.
- Witty titles for posts are wonderful but they need to have some kind of connection to the content of the post.
- I am so much more judgmental these days than I was as a teen. This saddens me.
- I'm really not sure what the last line of that post means.
Re-Erection
I spent the last two weeks in Bangkok doing an orientation course for a distance course that will now consume the next 9 months of my life. The upside is that I passed everything when the statistical majority failed. I'd rather say little about it other than it was tough and it's very understandable why some candidates fail.
Having come out the other side of orientation, I do feel somewhat different. Sure there was the course itself, but ultimately I didn't find it anywhere near as stressful as everyone I work with said I would find it. Granted I just scraped through it, but ultimately I handed in rubbish for one assessment and still made it through - so it's all good. I'll tell them i found it horrifically tough because that's what I'm supposed to say and it's less arrogant to go down that path.
I've also seen things about myself. I thought I was the non-judgemental type. I thought I was the guy that saw every side of things. But I'm not. Seeing all the 65yo white guys with 21yo girlfriends really brought out the worst in me. Honestly there could be so many many reasons as to why a 65yo could be happy with a 21yo girl but I could see none of that. I only saw the manipulative nature of the relationship (from both sides) of the arrangement. How could either side be fulfilled?
But honestly I've dated so many older women that I should be the last person to say a word. I think the larger portion of my annoyance came from seeing the way many of these men treated women. They are just meat to most of these guys. Money doesn't equate to respect. And I think that's a lesson both sides of the equation need to learn. This is a common one in Asia. But Thailand brings out the worst in me in regards to this debate. Ultimately I think men treat women like shit in SE Asia. But then that's my judgement. And doesn't account for the people that truly fall in love. The people I truly used to think were some kind of majority. They're not a majority. But nor, perhaps, should I regard them as a minority. Maybe I'm just starting to become cynical.
I've hurt enough people. Not deliberately. But sometimes these things just happen. Despite our best intentions, someone isn't right for you. And in your heart of hearts you know that to be true. It doesn't matter. Someone is going to get hurt in such a situation. Because that's the heart and when two people whose hearts meet? Well, that's the true Hollywood romance. Because the reality is that that is what we all want. What so few of us get. It does happen. So me? Well I'm just going to stop hoping. It does work sometimes. Most of the time I can't hear that hope, but in my heart it's there. A drumbeat is loud enough no matter how low it is that it will keep us going.
Having come out the other side of orientation, I do feel somewhat different. Sure there was the course itself, but ultimately I didn't find it anywhere near as stressful as everyone I work with said I would find it. Granted I just scraped through it, but ultimately I handed in rubbish for one assessment and still made it through - so it's all good. I'll tell them i found it horrifically tough because that's what I'm supposed to say and it's less arrogant to go down that path.
I've also seen things about myself. I thought I was the non-judgemental type. I thought I was the guy that saw every side of things. But I'm not. Seeing all the 65yo white guys with 21yo girlfriends really brought out the worst in me. Honestly there could be so many many reasons as to why a 65yo could be happy with a 21yo girl but I could see none of that. I only saw the manipulative nature of the relationship (from both sides) of the arrangement. How could either side be fulfilled?
But honestly I've dated so many older women that I should be the last person to say a word. I think the larger portion of my annoyance came from seeing the way many of these men treated women. They are just meat to most of these guys. Money doesn't equate to respect. And I think that's a lesson both sides of the equation need to learn. This is a common one in Asia. But Thailand brings out the worst in me in regards to this debate. Ultimately I think men treat women like shit in SE Asia. But then that's my judgement. And doesn't account for the people that truly fall in love. The people I truly used to think were some kind of majority. They're not a majority. But nor, perhaps, should I regard them as a minority. Maybe I'm just starting to become cynical.
I've hurt enough people. Not deliberately. But sometimes these things just happen. Despite our best intentions, someone isn't right for you. And in your heart of hearts you know that to be true. It doesn't matter. Someone is going to get hurt in such a situation. Because that's the heart and when two people whose hearts meet? Well, that's the true Hollywood romance. Because the reality is that that is what we all want. What so few of us get. It does happen. So me? Well I'm just going to stop hoping. It does work sometimes. Most of the time I can't hear that hope, but in my heart it's there. A drumbeat is loud enough no matter how low it is that it will keep us going.
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